Found Time, Feeling Thankful

Tonight I had an extra couple of hours to myself.  Our normally packed Monday nights typically hold Boy Scouts and karate lessons but tonight Boy Scouts isn’t meeting and hubby took the boy to karate so I could stay home to bathe the dog.  (Still getting to that!) I originally had dinner plans with a friend but she needed to reschedule, which was a bit of a bummer but perfectly ok with me!  

Spring has been in full force these last few days with full sunshine and temps in the 60s.  It’s done wonders for my mood and for my energy level.  Left to my own devices tonight I decided to apply myself outside in the front garden.  This may seem like a mundane task to some but for me, gardening equates to life and fruitfulness.  When I’m in the garden, I’m in "the zone."  

Here’s the thing though, it’s literally been years since I’ve felt well enough to just, on a whim, decide to spend an hour in the garden.  So often if time wasn’t a constraint then my energy or pain level was.  Tonight the old me, the much younger and healthier me, returned. I was outside and an hour passed in what seemed like minutes.  I was pulling and pruning and lifting and walking back-and-forth across the yard to the tune of an extra 1,500 steps on my Fitbit.  

I was bursting with energy and had more to spare.  I felt great!  

Last year I was really sick.  Frighteningly sick.  I almost died.  But even before that, I didn’t have the energy I needed for life.  If time wasn’t a constraint then my lack of energy or high level of pain was.  I don’t even think I realized how unwell I had become.  In retrospect, I knew I didn’t feel well but I guess I just accepted that as status quo.  I just assumed that was how working full time parents felt.  Like being utterly exhausted by the end of the day was normal. Expected.  

Tonight reminded me that it so totally is not.  My energy still ebbs and flows and I still have days when I may not feel my best but overall I have made great strides.  I’ve lost 150 pounds and regained my livelihood.  

Tonight I’m feeling really thankful, for all it. Small imperfect houses, overgrown weedy gardens and mundane tasks included!  I’m not perfect but I am present in my own life and that truly is a gift.