Big Brown Bottoms

So I was cleaning out some old clothes today and these monstrosities fell on the floor at my feet.  I scooped them up and almost chucked them straight into the GARBAGE bag but then I stopped.  Out of curiosity I held them up and peered at myself in the mirror.  Oh.my.goodness!  I used to wear these pants at least one or two times a week, sometimes more.  They were my comfortable, go-to work pants that I actually felt pretty good about.  What the hell was I thinking?!  What I saw in ththe mirror was pretty shocking.  While I know my own numbers and how much things have changed, I don’t often see it in as pronounced a way as I did today.  

These pants are a size 32.  I’m now wearing a loosely comfortable 20 and could probably get into an 18.  All in six short months.  Amazing!  This transformation is incredible and life-changing.  I’m SO glad I’m no longer that girl, miserably stuffed into those miserable pants.  It’s amazing what you don’t even know about your own self until the truth begins to be revealed.  I am astounded! 

Size 18 “super skinny” jeans

After my recent clothhing purge, I allowed myself to step into one of my favorite clothing stores , Cato today.  As luck would have it, they had several racks overloaded with clearance selections.  Yay!  I was really only looking for jeans and didn’t want to spend much so my mission was quick.  I grabbed a few styles from the rack, all in size 20.  One style I loved was only available in an18.  I was kind of disappointed but I grabbed it too, figuring I’d just hold it up and maybe, just maybe, buy it for my “someday soon” pile.  

Once in the dressing room...a less-than pleasant experience for most fat girls...I began the arduous process of trying on clothes.  What?!

Every single pair of size 20s I grabbed was too big!!

I still didn’t think the 18s would fit but I put them on anyway.  Not only did they fit, they were actually comfortable.  They fit well!  They were an instantaneous MUST BUY.  To make the experience even sweeter, all jeans were priced from $11 - $17.  Yes!!  I looked at the tag one more time, just to be sure and there was the label: size 18 super skinny fit jeans.  I couldn’t even contain my excitement, I was grinning from ear-to-ear!  

I grabbed my two favorite pairs of jeans and treated myself to some new, pretty underwear while I was at it.  I can honestly say this is the best shopping experience I’ve ever had.  Watch out wallet...I’m starting to understand what the female obsession with shopping is! 

But seriously though, aren’t these the cutest jeans?! 

6 Month “Surgiversary!”

Today marks six months since I went under the knife.  It seems like that time has both flown by and dragged on forever.  Some of the early food stages were painful but now they just seem like blips on the radar.  

Overall I feel really good.  My energy has been pretty strong and I’ve been in a steady losing pattern lately.  This particular week, with Christmas, has been a little tricky.  I’ve been home a lot more and also more tempted by NOMB (none of my business) foods.  That said, I’ve still done fairly well and haven’t lost any but haven’t gained either:  I’ll take it, especially considering it’s been too cold to get out and walk.  

So in six short months I’ve:

• Lost 113 lbs
• Shrunk by a total of 44.5 inches
• Become much more active
• Reduced my joint pain almost completely 
• Increased my activity level
• Restored my energy
• Maintained a new, much healthier diet
• Maintained a vitamin regimen 
• Made new friends via the support group
• Shrunk by 7 pant sizes

"A plain cheese pizza, just for me!"

Home Alone is one of my all-time favorite Christmas movies.  Anyone who's a fan will remember Kevin's infamous line as he opens the pizza box he orders for himself...

"Ahhh, a plain cheese pizza, just for me!"  

That's kind of how I felt yesterday when I tried a new cauliflower crust pizza I found at Kroger for the first time.  It was delicious!  And, while not a daily allowance due to the high carb count, I can have this occasionally.  Guilt free and without all the hassle that comes with making your own cauliflower crust pizza.  That's a great feeling.  

It finally happened!

This morning, after a (very frustrating) nearly two-week stall where my total weight lost fluctuated between 97-99 lbs, I reached my first huge milestone goal of losing 100 lbs!  

My highest weight, in or around June of 2017, was 378 lbs.  Today I weigh 277.6 lbs.  I've still got a ways to go before I'll be satisfied with my progress but I've also come pretty far too.  I'm proud of myself!  

Even with having the surgery as my tool, extreme weight loss is not easy.  There is so much thought, planning, preparation and perseverance that goes into every meal for me--every single day.  Questions about how much protein I've had, experimenting to find the best vitamins and combination of vitamins, getting in enough water, excercising, how to still enjoy social engagements while also taking care of my health...on and on.  There is so much to consider when it comes to my own personal health and weight loss goals, at times it can feel daunting.  

But today - today I've lost 100 lbs. THAT feels great!  I feel great!  I can move faster and move more, I can sit on the floor with my preschoolers every day again, I can roughhouse with my son without fear that I may seriously hurt my back, I can comfortably fit into chairs - often with room to spare, I can sleep on my tummy again--like I always used to.  So much has changed in so short a time that I'm surely forgetting some of the many great NSVs I've experienced.  THIS is what it's all about for me.  THIS is why I chose to have surgery--to take my life back, one step...one pound at a time.  Having surgery was THE BEST DECISION EVER!! 

The pictures below are me, just being me.  No bra,no makeup, no fancy lighting or weird angles, no camera tricks.  These are just me, comfortably in my home enjoying my pets.  While the entire 100 lbs isn't reflected it this composite, a large chunk of it is.  I don't love these pictures - they show so many flaws and they generally just aren't good pictures but they do show my progress.  They also remind me that determination and hard work can and do pay off.  

99...

When you've lost 99 lbs and the scale just will.not.budge!!! 😡 😐 🙄

It's been a week of this slight fluctuation, hovering between 97-99 lbs lost.  There is something so momentous about being able to say I've officially lost 100 lbs, I just want to get there.  Like today!