Liquid Diet

So tomorrow starts my liquid diet phase of this journey.  I'm really dreading it but know the days will go by quickly, as they always do.  1,000 calories made up of all liquids.  Just doesn't sound fun.

I went over on my calories today by 300.  I feel kind of crappy about that but considering we had M.R.'s birthday party today, it could have been worse.  Also considering I lost 11 lbs this week by adhering to the 1,200 calories each day, I let it slide a bit today.  I was doing ok but then I kind of freaked out tonight when I realized dinner was the last solid meal I'd be having for quite a while.  I ate extra chicken, cherries, yogurt, along with my frozen dinner meal of chicken fettuccine.  Then tonight I ate my last snack bag of snap pea crisps.  At least they were crunchy...It is what it is and I'm trying to focus on the positives and remember why I decided to do this in the first place but man...


...Literally everything is about to change.  I'm kind of scared.  So many people say "Bring it on!!!" or "I'm so excited!!!"  I wonder if they really feel scared but just aren't saying it or if I'm just a worry wart?  MCL isn't helping much.  His comment last week about, "Can you please bring home all your personal effects on your last day of school in case you don't make it?"  I mean...I know he's scared but wow, what kind of way is that to be thinking?!  And then last night at baseball when we were discussing whether or not I should charge to do pictures for the team, "Oh just do it out of the goodness of your heart and make the world a better place." To which my best friend, BC replied, "I don't work for free, you're gonna have to pay me something."  Then he said, "Oh come on I'm sure you can use some good karma...for next week."  Ughhh I just gave him a look and said, "My karma bank is full thank you very much."  What is it in him that always has to be such a naysayer?  And what is it in me that always has to soak that up like a sponge?


I will say he was very helpful last weekend, when I was initially preparing for my 1,000 calorie days.  He sat down with me and helped me map out my days, even labaled my meals for me and helped me get the most bang for my buck, so to speak.  He CAN be utterly amazing and helpful when he wants to!!!  He can also be Giganticus Difficulticus when he wants to!!!  UGHHHHHHH!!!


No one said this would be easy but my goodness.  Does it have to be this hard?!  It's only food after all.  Why on earth am I letting it affect me so much?!  I am doing this to be healthier.  I am doing this to regain more energy and vitality.  I am doing this so that I can stop sitting on the sidelines of my own life--of my son's childhood.  I am doing this so that I can be in less pain, be able to move more.  I am doing this for me and for us so that we can break free of the inhibitions that I've always had, surrounding my weight.  I want to fit in normal seats without fearing they'll break.  I want to wear smaller sized clothes.  I hope to someday get out of plus sizes but even if I don't do that, I just don't want to be at the tail end of available plus sizes.  I want to ride in a hot air balloon and not fret about the weight limit.  I want to fit in a two person hammock with my husband.  I want to walk more and faster, maybe even run again.  I want to keep up with Charlie better.  Even though I don't like roller coasters, I want to go to Cedar Point so I can ride in one without being told the seatbelt won't fit around my belly.

I WANT TO LIVE AGAIN--AND HOPEFULLY LIVE A LONG AND ENERGETIC, FULFILLING LIFE!